we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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