i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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