does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
