Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
