it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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