I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
