i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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