last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
