is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
