: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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