Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize