Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I think a kid would responsible me up
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I need to sanitize my soul.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
