so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm eating all of the evidence.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
