420 ftw
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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