My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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