I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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