so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
