If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
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JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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