he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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