Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
