ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
