you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
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Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
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Send help, water and tortillas.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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