How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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