my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
