I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
