I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Alive.
So much puke
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
