somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
and she was petting her beer can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize