Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
