2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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