Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
