I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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