wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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