my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize