Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
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