I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
