the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
