i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
