We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
