I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
