Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
