apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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