I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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