jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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