hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He shit in the fireplace
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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