That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize