smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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