the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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