I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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