I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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