I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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