I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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