They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
