Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
