do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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