then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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