I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
