oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You smell like stripper and shame
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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