is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
