Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
