Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It's no shave November. This is our time.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
