Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
