Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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