i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
