While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
