If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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