Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
