...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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